All Things Are In His Hands - Part 2

So back to the story....

As I told you in the previous post, since September 2009 my husband, Dave has been without full time employment. He has skills that make him able to get work at odd jobs working with other contractors and doing remodeling work. This has been the only method of income we have been able to get since last year. September and October were slim but Dave was able to work with a brother in Christ who owns his own remodeling company. When November rolled around there was not enough work to keep Dave and himself afloat so Dave was looking for other avenues to bring in money.

During November, December and January the well completely dried up. Every job prospect fell through, every job turned out to be a no go and we were without any income coming in. We were barely surviving. It seemed like every opportunity that came along God would slam shut. The stress Dave was under was tremendous and all areas of our life were in turmoil.

As a side note, I must tell you that we owned two houses during this time. Three and a half years ago we purchased our dream house in Pleasant Hill, MO. but we still owned our old house in Lees Summit, MO. Originally, when we moved, we obtained a buyer for our old house. The couple had some credit issues which friends of ours were equipped to help them repair. We signed a contract to sell within 90 days and for rent to be paid until then.

Fast forward about three years.... the house still not closed, the buyers still just paying us rent. But good news, looks like they are going to be able to close the end of February. Or so we thought.

Back to the story. By the time January hit we were in serious financial trouble. We had depleted everything we had saved long before. Three months of no income had put us at the brink of ruin. The rent paid to us for the old house was about the only money we had coming in so instead of using it to make the house payment, it was used just to keep the lights on and food on the table.

Now our only hope was the closing of the old house in Lees Summit that would happen at the end of February. We were banking on it. It would catch us up on the three months we were now behind on our house in Pleasant Hill, and pay off all the debtors that were hounding us for blood at this point.

We were not the only ones banking on the closing of this house, all our creditors were aware and waiting for the payoff. JUST A FEW MORE WEEKS AND AHHHHH.......

Third week in February and one week to go. The phone rings..... The buyers mortgage company has decided not to finance them. They found something on their credit report and have decided to pull their financing. The closing is not going to happen.

All hope is gone. Both houses we own will be gone. Without the house closing, foreclosure is imminent. There in no hope, its over. Everything we have worked for all our lives is about to be gone.

But is it all really over when God is your Father? Or do we, in that moment just think it is? Sometimes, when you have nothing left, when you finally get to the end of yourself and what you can do on your own......you give up and let God. Which is exactly what happened to my husband.

As the provider and leader of our home, he finally had nothing left that he could do but beg God for intervention. It was at that place where there was no hope unless God showed up. Why we must get to the end of ourselves before we completely step out in faith I do not know. But often that is the case.

Where my husbands reaction was to step out in faith, mine was to get angry with God. I had stood through all the currents in faith. I had walked day after day in faith. Continually, I spoke the words "Have faith, no matter what, we will be okay, we are His children".

But the day I found out that the buyers could not close on the old house, Satan threw me a curve ball that hit me square between the eyes. He knew what my fears were. He knew my past and the things I had been through. So he threw out the thought of "where will you go, you are going to be homeless. With no employment you can't even rent."

All I could think of was how close to being homeless I had been so many years ago. And I began to rant at God, "How could you let it go this far? Homeless Lord? I have to be homeless? Where will we go? We can't even rent when they take our house away from us. " I was angry and doubting. How could God really love me and let such a thing happen?

The following Sunday morning Dave and I both battled our internal dialog that said "whats the use, stay home today'. Neither of us felt like going to church, we were broken and putting on a "I'm OK" face was not going to be easy. Something pushed us forward. Maybe it was the Spirit inside us or maybe it was just routine that caused us to go that morning. Dressed in our Sunday best, we picked up our bibles and our discouraged hearts, arriving in time for service.

As we sang worship songs, my hardened and angry heart said "I will not sing to you! I will not worship you!" I was hurt. I didn't understand why. After all these months of faith, I couldn't muster anything even close to a mustard seed worth of belief. I was all out of faith and refused to sing to a God that would render me homeless.

As the Pastor opened in prayer, I placed my bible on my lap opening it to the book he would be preaching on. I Peter, first chapter. Now, I have a Charles Stanley Life Principles Study Bible. Sporadically throughout it sprinkles extra information that Mr. Stanley has provided. This day as I looked on the left page there was a column called "Answers to Life's Questions". And what was the question?

"How do I handle a difficult trial not of my own doing?" As I began to read, the tears began to flow down my face. God knows when we face horrendous situations. He hears our cries. Even those who maintain the closest fellowship with Him are not immune to feelings of hopelessness.

It went on to say... Many times God allows us to face hopeless circumstances in order to test and try our faith; it is the hopelessness that forces us to seek God, and it is there that we find strength and refreshment. Does God care that your trials make you weary? Yes, and He knows every emotion, need, and desire you have. He also knows exactly what it will take to bring you into a more intimate relationship with Him.

God had spoken. He knew where I was at. He knew I was weary, I was broken and I was scared. He knew the hopelessness I felt.

It didn't end there. As the Pastor began his sermon about "Praising God in all Circumstances" God spoke through him directly to me. These words came from his mouth and convicted my heart.... "Even if God did nothing else for you in your entire life, salvation was enough to continually praise him for"

Salvation was so big, it trumped anything I could ever expect God to do for me. How dare I. How dare I respond the way I was. I had told God in the beginning of this journey if I lost everything I would continue to praise Him. That had been my answer to His question "What if it all goes away, what will you do?" I had answered that I would praise Him because it wasn't what He did for me that deserved my praise. He deserved my praise because He is God and I love Him.

Instead here I was raging at Him in anger, refusing to sing praises to Him. As my heart broke, repentance began. Restoration was immediate and faith came with it.

That next week God showed His mercy and love for us. As He began to glorify Himself, I watched with tears of love.

All Things are in His Hands - Part 1

On February 28th I wrote a post called "Honest Before God". In that post I spoke very honestly about how I was feeling about the circumstances that my husband and I have experienced in the last year.

I did not completely reveal the story behind what I was feeling. I was raw inside at the time I was writing. Full of some very real pain from a year of hard circumstances. I spilled out some emotional words from the depths of the humility God had taken me too.

From that post an interview was sparked that aired on the radio station, 91.3 FM in the Dallas Fort Worth area. The post "Honest Before God" caught the interest of Jim Norman at "Wise People", who interviewed me for his program. (You can download an MP3 of the interview on the left side of my blog)

At the time I did the interview, the story wasn't complete. Today, we are further into the story but yet the story goes on.

I would like to share it with you here. I can't share it all, as I just said, the journey hasn't ended yet. But I will share what we have come to learn so far.

It all started early last year when my husband walked through the door coming home from work one day. It was an ordinary day, nothing strange had happened to spark my feelings of unease.

I caught just a glimpse of him as he passed through the hallway heading towards the bedroom to change his clothes. Sitting in the living room, typing on my computer as I am right now, the thought crossed my mind, "he lost his job".

What was I thinking! I had no reason to think such a thing. The Spirit within had warned me. He had lost his job.

He had not just lost a job; he had lost the best job he had ever worked. A thousand acres of manicured lawn behind our house (a golf course) and a swimming pool in the back yard. We were comfortable, finally living the good life. Or were we?????

It was that day that God began a work in me that is still continuing today. My initial reaction to the news was like most would probably have. I knew in my head that God is in control of everything. I knew I should just have faith and trust the God was good and that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I loved Him; therefore He would take care of me. I knew all these things.

The problem came in putting those things to work and truly believing them. Although, I knew how I should respond, my heart was not at peace. My heart responded with fear while my head said I should just trust in the Lord.

The following day I spent a lot of time in prayer. While on the treadmill in my basement, I was asking God to help me. "Help my heart be a peace" I asked of the Lord. What I feared was what everyone fears in that situation. "We are going to lose everything, the nice house, the comfortable life we had built". All the worst possible outcomes ran through my head. Then I heard the Lord say to me "What if it all goes away? What if you do lose everything? Then what will you do?"

My response took sometime to ponder on those questions. How would I respond if everything was taken from me? Would I respond in anger and become bitter or would I trust that my God was good even when I did not understand?

My response was this "Then Lord, I will praise you. Because I do not praise and love you for what you can give me but for who you are." In that moment a peace washed over me like I had never felt. I would be ok; I was my Father's daughter and what ever happened that would not change. I might lose everything materially but I would never lose my hope and my God.

A month turned into two and the Lord provided all the way. Next thing you know, a job came. Not the job my husband wanted and with much less income but a job none the less. From the moment he arrived at this company, it was a complete mess. My husband, Dave, began to ask the Lord to get him out of there. "What in the world are you doing Lord? This place is getting ready to go out of business" Two month later Dave is back pounding the pavement looking for a job. While Dave was at that company, several very needy people heard the truth of the gospel. Lesson learned.... sometimes the assignment from God is short.

Back to the job search. One month later.... another job. Again not the money he was making but enough to survive and opportunity to grow. His excitement built as this company looked to have huge potential. They were a small company that was growing. Problem was they were growing faster than they could handle. Two months later....... the company can't meet its financial obligations because the bank decides not to continue to back them. All funding is pulled out and they are left with no alternative but to close the doors. Once again Dave is without a job.

This job ended in September of 2009. Since that time no permanent employment has surfaced. Dave, being in the business of construction, has the ability to make money on his own but there is no security. Each small job pays what it pays and then you look for more work. This has been our existence since September.

Continued tomorrow.........

Love One Another As Brother's

Mark 1:19-20 - When He had gone a little farther from there, He saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, who also were in the boat mending their nets. And immediately He called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants, and went after Him.

James and John, brothers through and through, that’s what they were. They were called to follow together and are rarely mentioned apart in scripture.

So what does it mean to be brothers? Apart from being siblings or born of the same family, what does it mean to be a brother to someone? I know that some brothers in a family can be close and others are not but what would God require a brother to be like?

I Peter 3:8 – Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous.

We are to be of one mind, what else are we to be according to Peter? What does it look like to love someone as a brother?

Do you have a brother or sister? Are you tied you to them emotionally? There is something about a sibling that goes beyond a friendship. You are tied to one another by blood and the bonds run deep.

I had a little brother, his name was Kristopher. I was eight years older than him, so was always very protective of him. Oh, how he irritated me through the years of growing up. I got onto him, picked on him and at times made his life completely miserable. But I always loved him, if for no other reason than he was my brother.

As I grew into my teens and eventually moved away from home, he was still very young. We became more distant as the years went by and he grew older. Suffering from a debilitating disease called Trigeminal Neuralgia from the age of 14, he was in constant pain. After years of pain medication he became addicted. The decision became, be in constant pain or over medicated. In July of 2006 he made the irrevocable decision to take his own life and leave this world.

I miss him. I miss his smile and his dry wit. I miss everything about him. How I wish I had just one more day to talk with him and try to give him the encouragement he so needed. I would tell him that I care, that he is my brother and I would do anything to help him.

I guess what I am trying to make you understand by telling you this story is we need to love our brothers and sisters now while we have the chance. Because you never know, there may not be a tomorrow. There are no more chances for me to show my brother what my heart fells for him. There is day to spend time with him and show kindness to him now. My chances are over even though I long for one more. There is no tomorrow, now is the time to love one another.

Jesus talked a lot about loving as brothers. Not just as siblings born of the same family, but as the body of Christ being brothers and sisters. Just as our family of origin, when born into the family of Christ we become brothers and sister with one another. We have a family born of Spiritual connection, which should be stronger even than our physical family. This family will last not just while here on this earth but into eternity.

The message Jesus wanted us to get is, that we are all now brother’s and sister’s in Christ, so love each other like you are!

I John 2:10 - He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.

If we love our brother, we abide in the light and don’t cause him to stumble. We are to take great care not to hinder the walk of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Wait, you mean instead of judging each other, being jealous of one another or pointing out someone’s flaws we should love each other enough to lift one another up?!? What a concept!

If you honestly evaluated your own love for others, how are you doing? Is there anyone you need to go talk with and mend your relationship?

There is nothing Satan wants more than to divide the body of Christ. He knows that if he can divide believers they will be less effective for the great commission. If we are busy fighting amongst ourselves he knows we won’t be out doing damage to his kingdom. He knows that believers that band together are a powerful force to be reckoned with.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 – Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Matthew 18:20 – "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."

The third cord represents Jesus. When we bond together with one another and Jesus is included, there is extraordinary strength to draw on. When two or more believers gather in Jesus’ name, He says He is with us. He even takes His promise further.

Matthew 18:19 – “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.”

Jesus tells us that when we get together and start working towards Gods will, we can call on the Father and He will hear us. Not only will He hear but He will act. That’s pretty powerful! Satan doesn’t want us to be unified for the cause of Christ. This is exactly why! When we are unified and calling on God, people come to the saving grace of the gospel and leave Satan’s world behind.

When we love one another as brothers, we will be of one mind, pursuing the things of Christ. To follow as we are called is not on a road all alone. It is with brothers and sisters in Christ. We need one another. We are called to travel the road together, united by a common cause. All as one body but each with our own part to play. Bonded together in love, kindness and compassion for one another.

That is our journey as followers of Jesus, travel behind Jesus, go where He goes, but take a few brothers or sisters along with us.

A Transformed Life

Today’s topic is exploding within my heart. I can hardly contain myself! Today we get to talk about the glorious power of God! We get to see the transforming power that happens when we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Savior and are given the gift of the Holy Spirit. I can’t wait any longer, so lets get started.

In previous posts we have seen Simon Peter as grateful and eager but still very impetuous. His behavior was unpredictable at best. Although he had the best of intentions, his follow through left much to be desired. His heart was in the right place but it didn’t stop his flesh from causing him to fail.

Several posts ago we saw Simon Peter fail greatly while denying Christ. Then we saw the grace that restored his faith and set him back on the right path. Today we look at the man God promised he would become. Today we see exactly what Jesus meant when he called Simon Peter the “rock”.

When the day of Pentecost came, all the disciples were together in one place. Suddenly, a sound like rushing wind came down from heaven and filled the whole house. Divided tongues of fire sat upon each of them and they were filled with the Holy Spirit. They began to speak in different tongues. Those standing near them, people of all kinds of dialects, heard their own language being spoken.

The crowd was filled with confusion. They were all amazed and perplexed. They began asking one another what this could be. Some believed it must be the wonderful work of God. Others began to mock, claiming them to be drunk with wine. Here is where we see our friend Simon Peter’s new nature. We see the beginning of his new life as a Spirit filled, transformed believer. No longer the wishy washy, all over the place person he once was. A new power had been given to him and a new life was set in motion.

Get your bible out and read Acts 2: 14-39. (I know, I know, it’s a long passage of scripture. Humor me and do it anyway!)

First Simon Peter rebukes the crowd and denies the accusation. "These are not drunk, as you suppose!" This was Simon Peter’s response. Can you imagine his anger boiling right below the surface? How dare they mock the power of God!

He then proceeds to quote the prophet Joel who had prophesied about the last days. "And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God. That I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men see visions, your old men shall dream dreams." In the end the prophet Joel says that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Simon Peter, our unpredictable man, begins a bold testimony of faith about the one who truly saves, Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Finishing his speech with a strong declaration, Simon Peter says this, "Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ."

When the crowd heard his testimony, the people were cut to the heart. They asked the disciples "what shall we do?"

Have you ever been cut to the heart by the knowledge of your own sin? Have you had that kind of feeling of regret and remorse set in? It takes hold of you. The gravity of what shape you are in causes the beating of your heart to become deafening.

I can picture their response as they spoke the words, what shall we do? The horror, we have just killed the one true Messiah, what shall we do?

Simon Peter's response to the crowd was the same response we need now in our own acknowledgement of sin. "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

What a bold statement made by someone who had earlier feared being connected to Jesus. Simon Peter with the filling of the Holy Spirit was transformed and forever changed. He was given the power to stand up for what he knew to be the truth.

That day, from that speech, about three thousands souls were saved and became believers in Jesus Christ. Simon Peter wasn’t finished though, John going with him, he proceeds to the temple at the hour of prayer.

Seeing a man lame from birth at the gate, Simon Peter gives this man something more precious than the money he was begging for. Instead, he takes his hands and says “In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” Rising up to walk, the man entered the temple with them, walking, leaping and praising God.

All the people ran together to hear this man speak who had healed the lame man they had seen in front of the temple everyday. Simon Peter let no grass grow under his feet as he once again testified to the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Two thousand more souls were saved and became believers.

The temple abuzz and believers coming to Jesus Christ did not go unnoticed. Soon the priests, captain of the temple and the Sadducees came upon them, putting them in custody until the next day. Simon Peter does not cower, but instead addresses the rulers, elders, scribes, the high priest Annas and Caiaphas. With bold testimony he speaks with the power of Holy Spirit.

Acts 4: 8-12. Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, "Rulers of the people and elders of Israel; "If we this day are judged for a good deed done to a helpless man, by what means he has been made well, let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. This is the 'stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone.' Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved."

What does Simon Peter call Jesus? He calls Him the stone which was rejected by the builders. But instead of that stone being tossed aside, God used it as the chief cornerstone of salvation. Rebuking them, Simon Peter points out that they had crucified the one God had chosen to be the stone; they indeed were the builders who rejected the stone. Then he goes on to proclaim the only way to be saved is through that very man, Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Are you beginning to see the power of the transformation that occurred in Simon Peter’s life?

Here was a man who wanted to do the right things, who wanted to be strong and bold but could not. Not until he had the Holy Spirit within him, could he stand so strong for the Jesus he loved so dearly.

Beloved, it is the Holy Spirit within that carries the power to do the unthinkable. So often we try and try and try, only to fail and fail and fail. We proceed, doing things in our own power, not drawing on the one that can really change things.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

The fruit belongs to the Spirit not us. His fruit is all of these wonderful things listed in this scripture. If we want this type of fruit in our lives, we must live empowered by the Spirit. The transformation that occurs is dramatic, and overwhelming if we let it change us.

Living within us, making His home in us is the Holy Spirit, the third part of the trinity of God. This is not something to be looked upon lightly. We can be over comers. We can be strong and powerful for our Lord Jesus Christ. But it won’t be us that does it; it will be by the yielding to the Spirit that it happens.

Transformation is ours if we want it. The power lives within us and wants to be the life force that guides us if we let Him. The question is will we let Him?

Honest Before God

I would like to stray from my usual path and speak to you from my heart. No lesson in the word today, no bible passage to explore and unfold for you. Just me getting really honest before God. An honest admission of where I am at this moment in time and the gripping truth of the reality that is unfolding around me.

In the last year I have come to the place of being laid bare and completely naked before God. I have to say that it is not a comfortable feeling and at the same time there is relief in it. I am bare. I am raw. I am full with emotion. No pretense, no unrealistic visions of who I am. Just standing here stripped of all things that made me think more (or at times less) of myself.

So.... what does that tell me? What have I learned? Who does that make me?

I see clearly now who I fall into being so easily. I see who I am in my flesh. I see who I am without the Spirit. I see God's vision of me and how far I have been from it. I see the wretchedness of my own humanity.

I can see clearly the "me" I do not want to be. I can see that person He is trying to mold out of me. The one He took out from the world and has gracefully, tenderly been remaking.

That woman called "me"; self adsorbed, prideful, selfish and unkind. A breaker of commandments. Not one commandment of the ten did I keep. Having other Gods, Lying, coveting, stealing, adultery and yes, even murder. I have broken them all, so much I have done wrong. I have no pretense or false view of what lies inside me.

I deserved nothing from God. Nothing but his disdain did I deserve. But I got none of that. Instead, mercy was placed at my feet. Mercy so full of love and blessing that I can't even grasp the magnitude of it. I was so lost and full of my own wanting. Yet, God chose to save me. Why? Why save me, Lord?

He must have seen something in this wretched heart of mine. Even in my sin He saw something He wanted to save. I can not grasp the love that does that.

In contrast, I can now see the glory of God! I see who He can make me. I see where He can take me. I see where I can go under His wing. I can reach for stars. I can find goodness and become clear, so His image can be seen in me.

Empty of myself now. Naked. I am ready to be remade. So I sit at His feet in wait. Patiently, I wait while praise rises up from my lips. Holy, Holy, Holy, my lips continue to utter. Mold Lord, as I praise You. I will stay at Your feet until You finish Your work. Submitting to Your will I stay till Your done.

Keep changing me Lord. The nakedness now has become a relief. I need nothing when You give it all. I only need the filling of Your Spirit to raise my heart to joy. It takes away the sting of this world and brings peace in return.

Keep remaking me Lord. I want what You want in me. I am Yours by the price You ransomed. Bought by a price that I could never pay. So I will not try. Instead, I will humbly yield so Your will can be done in me, in my life.

I am Yours and You are mine. That is enough for me. It is all I need while here on this earth, no matter what the road holds ahead of me.

So naked I will walk with my soul transparent before mankind. No mask to hide behind or false identity to feel safe or protected with. Only You shining Your glory through me for the world to see. Knowing that my sin and failures will scare some but bring hope to others. I will live to show that hope You bring.

It has taken much work for You to strip me bare. I held so tightly to the security of self doing that it made the task more difficult. The pruning was painful but I am looking forward to the buds in the spring. Like a flower that opens to the rays of the sun, I will watch Your glory revealed through me with awe.

In the end, after all has been said and done, my journey is worth just one moment with You. But that’s not all I get, just one moment. I get a lifetime, an eternity, that is my gain instead. For all of this, I am thankful.