Saturday, August 29, 2009

A Season of Uncertainty

This summer has been a season of uncertainty for my husband and me. At the beginning of the summer my husband was laid off from his job.

The night he came home after being let go, he walked in about thirty minutes early. I caught a glimpse of him as he walked to the kitchen. I knew. Not by his demeanor or anything, I just knew. The thought went through my mind "he lost his job". It was as if the Holy Spirit was forewarning me, preparing me.

That following day, a Saturday, I knew the response I should have. I knew all the things we are taught about God. He will take care of us; He is our sustainer, deliverer and provider. I knew I needed to trust that what ever happened we would be ok. I knew all these things in my mind, but my heart was not at rest. I had no peace about it.

That Saturday was a day of prayer. I honestly shared my unbelief with God and asked for help to believe. I prayed as I cleaned, as I folded laundry, as I sat and as I stood. Later in the day as I walked on the treadmill God posed this question to me. "What if everything goes away, what if all the material wealth is gone, then what will you do?"

As I pondered that question there was only one response that I could give. So I said to my redeemer, my savior, my love "I will praise you, because it is not what you do for me that is the reason I walk with you. I do it because I love you" With that answer, my heart made a decision that set a peace across my soul.

The rest of the summer was unstable at best when it came to finances but each month our bills were paid. Last month we thought the season had past. My husband accepted a job that paid what we needed to take care of our expenses. All was on the way to stability in this area and God had provided what we needed, when we needed it.

Yesterday, that great company that my husband went to work for went under. For financial reasons, the company dissolved. Once again, we are solely dependent on God to carry us through, to provide.

Once again, I had to take my fearful, unbelieving heart to my loving, merciful savior and ask for help with my unbelief. I know that no matter what, he has His best in mind for us. We are His children and He loves us. He knows our needs and will supply them all.

So I will do all that I know how to do in this kind of situation....

I praise you Lord. You are God alone and I lift up your name in praise. Holy is the Lord God Almighty. I praise you Jesus. No matter what comes our way, no matter what happens, I praise you. You are all I need.

2 comments:

Mike said...

I too have had a difficult summer financially but God is being SO faithful. I've even had friends giving me a cheque when they were unaware of my situation. Like you, the bills have got paid, somehow. He is and will always be faithful. Blessings.

Claudia Finn said...

I thank you for putting your beautiful statement of faith out there, your words will be used to build your own faith and other peoples!!