Friday, July 24, 2009

Finding the Father

For many years my relationship with God focused mostly on Jesus and what He did for me on the cross. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that it’s a bad thing to focus on or love Jesus for what He did. I love Him dearly myself. What I am saying is I never really gave allot of thought or attention to knowing the Father.

I prayed to Him like most do, starting my prayers addressed to Him and ending them in Jesus name. What I did not do was get to know who He was or understand what He did for me.

You see, like many, I associated my own earthly father’s characteristics to my heavenly Father. In a society where a large majority of children either don't have a father present or have a father that is angry, to busy or disconnected, it really doesn't paint a good picture of who our heavenly Father is. Myself, I had a real father that walked away and left me feeling abandoned and a step father that abused me. Needless to say my view of my heavenly father was of one who was critical, cruel and unavailable. Makes sense that I would ignore that part and focus only on Jesus.

Here's the burn though, we can't truly know God fully without knowing the Father also. It is in the Father that Jesus put all His trust while on this earth. It was the Father's will that Jesus fully submitted to and went to the cross for us. It was the Father that willed it to happen and Jesus who followed through with the act. That act is what brought each of us freedom from condemnation. It was the Fathers will that we be provided a way to be with Him. How could that be a cruel or critical God?

The last several years for me have been an adventure of finding the Father. The Father, MY Father, wanted me to know Him personally, for who He really is. Jesus made a way for me to do that. Now I could approach Him, call Him Dad and see Him for who He really is.

What I have found is He is not critical or cruel but kind and full of mercy. He is not unavailable but ever watchful, waiting to pick me up each time I fall. He then kisses away the hurt and sets me back on my feet again.

Here is the best part, as I found my Father, I also found me. I found the me I was suppose to be. After all the hurt was washed away, there was me. The person I was intended to be from the beginning. I only had to trust my Father to make me that person. As I did, I realized, it was what He had intended all along. To make me into what He had intended me to be even before I was born.

I am my Father's child. Loved. Adored. He even calls me beautiful.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Is God Really Enough

This thought has been rolling around in my head. Is God really enough?

Is He enough when you find the love of your life and loose them. Is He enough when your body is wracked with pain from the past? Is He enough when you’re told there will be no children in your future?

What about when your children leave the nest or when everything you have worked so hard to build slips away? Is God really enough when everything and I mean everything is gone?

In the bible, Job lost everything. He lost his material wealth, all his belongings, his children, his legacy and even his health. Here was a man that did no wrong. He loved God and believed with all that He had. But still, he lost everything. People came to him in his time of deep sorrow and saw no hope. His own wife even told him to "curse God and die." Some how even when all he held dear was gone he knew that God was all he really needed.

So often we seem to get so caught up in what is around us that we lose track of the real thing in our life. I know I myself have done this more often than I care to admit. We lose track of the truth that our relationship with Christ is really the only thing we need. All the rest is just blessing.

Today, I urge you to ask yourself this same question that I have been pondering. Is God really enough? If the answer is no, take it to God and ask him to change you. Ask Him to make your heart right and take you to the place that you know that He is enough.

Don't we all need the assurance to know that He is?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Vlogemotion 3

Here I go again with this emotion thing......

Monday, July 13, 2009


Waiting. I am waiting. Waiting to meet the one I love so dearly, to be in His presence.

Longing. I am longing. Longing to look into His eyes of warmth and love. Longing to be in His arms and all the waiting to be over.

Don't get me wrong, I am not miserable here on this earth. I have plenty of joy to fill my days. I have love around me and those that bring a smile to my face. But my heart longs for the day that I can see the Lord and look into His eyes.

Often, I wonder just what it will be like when I meet Him. The more I think on it, the more my heart longs for that day. You see, I love Him so. I love Him so much and the deeper my love grows, the more I long to be united with Him.

He is so much more than my savior. He is my Lord, my love, my partner, my father, my beloved and my everything. I know that it is not my time to go and be with Him, for I have work to do here. So I continue to look up, and wait, until my work here is done.

But I can't help but day dream on what it will sound like to hear Him say my name. Or what it will feel like when His hand touches my face. And what my eyes will see when I finally look upon Him.

What will I say? What will I do? Probably nothing. As always, He has already done everything. It will be Him that does everything and gives me what I need the moment I get there.

Friday, July 10, 2009

I Am Enough Just the Way I Am

Hello all my bloggy friends.

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. My computer has been acting up lately, making it hard to connect to the internet. Hopefully all will be back to continous connection next week.

Recently, I have been spending time just trying to figure out where God wants me to go next. What to do? what to do? Then as I spent some time just listening in prayer instead of talking, low and behold, I began to get some answers. Amazing how we get answers when we are prepared to hear them.

Anyway, I realized that to "do" is not what God wants from me, but to "be" is what He requires. I am to be like Him, follow Him. I am so prone to do, do, do.

I began to ask God why. Why am I so driven to do more? Why do I believe that I must do more to become acceptable in His eyes? Why is who I am not enough?

I know, I know, I can not work my way to heaven. It is not by works but by grace that we are acceptable in Gods sight but why can't I live that? Why must I continue to try and be good enough? Why is it, that no matter what I do, I never feel it is enough?

The message plays continually through my mind. "Your not enough" "What you have done is not enough, do more"

After finally listening, instead of talking, the spirit showed me this.

The messages that play for me in my mind are old messages. They are messages long overdue for a makeover. They came from my childhood where nothing you did was ever enough. I believed that if I just did one more thing requested of me by my Mother, maybe she would finally give me what I needed so desperately. Maybe she would finally love me. So day after day, year after year, I did more, tried harder, strived to be better. Only in the end, it was never enough.

The belief in my mind was that nothing was ever enough and you would always have to work to be loved. But that is not true and the message playing in my head is nothing but a lie.

There in no more condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. I am enough, I do not have to do more. His grace is suffiecient. It was enough to save me. It is enough to continue to keep His love. There is nothing that can seperate me from His love and I do not have to work for it.

It is mine when I am good and even when I am bad. It is mine when I achieve and even when I fail. It is mine not because I could ever be good enough or ever do enough. His love is mine because I am His child. Thats it, thats all. I am His and He is mine. I am enough because He makes me enough.