I Am Enough Just the Way I Am

Hello all my bloggy friends.

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. My computer has been acting up lately, making it hard to connect to the internet. Hopefully all will be back to continous connection next week.

Recently, I have been spending time just trying to figure out where God wants me to go next. What to do? what to do? Then as I spent some time just listening in prayer instead of talking, low and behold, I began to get some answers. Amazing how we get answers when we are prepared to hear them.

Anyway, I realized that to "do" is not what God wants from me, but to "be" is what He requires. I am to be like Him, follow Him. I am so prone to do, do, do.

I began to ask God why. Why am I so driven to do more? Why do I believe that I must do more to become acceptable in His eyes? Why is who I am not enough?

I know, I know, I can not work my way to heaven. It is not by works but by grace that we are acceptable in Gods sight but why can't I live that? Why must I continue to try and be good enough? Why is it, that no matter what I do, I never feel it is enough?

The message plays continually through my mind. "Your not enough" "What you have done is not enough, do more"

After finally listening, instead of talking, the spirit showed me this.

The messages that play for me in my mind are old messages. They are messages long overdue for a makeover. They came from my childhood where nothing you did was ever enough. I believed that if I just did one more thing requested of me by my Mother, maybe she would finally give me what I needed so desperately. Maybe she would finally love me. So day after day, year after year, I did more, tried harder, strived to be better. Only in the end, it was never enough.

The belief in my mind was that nothing was ever enough and you would always have to work to be loved. But that is not true and the message playing in my head is nothing but a lie.

There in no more condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. I am enough, I do not have to do more. His grace is suffiecient. It was enough to save me. It is enough to continue to keep His love. There is nothing that can seperate me from His love and I do not have to work for it.

It is mine when I am good and even when I am bad. It is mine when I achieve and even when I fail. It is mine not because I could ever be good enough or ever do enough. His love is mine because I am His child. Thats it, thats all. I am His and He is mine. I am enough because He makes me enough.

Computer Problems

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have been out of a computer for the last week. My computer is in the process of repair right now.

I will be back writing and commenting again soon.

Bless you all!!!!!

Speak Lord Your Servant Hears

Recently we were informed that our Pastor of the last ten years is leaving. Three years ago, the Lord began working on his heart to go to do as the scriptures call, "go and make disciples of all the nations." He has been called to missionary work overseas.

We, as the body of believers he leaves behind, must be gracious senders. We must graciously send him to those God is preparing to change through him. Although he will be greatly missed, we must not let our hearts falter because God is still at work in our midst. After all, it is not about us, but about the father. In all things, we must be just as Jesus was, about our fathers business.

Often "the church", the body of Christ, gets off track and thinks of what they want and not what God wants. Today as our Tuesday morning women’s group discussed session 10 of "Experiencing God", we came to a few conclusions I would like to share with you.

We as the body must always keep in mind who the head is.

The head is the one in charge, the one who directs the entire body. Jesus being the head of the church is the one that directs us as the body. He directs the body as a whole and also each church individually.

It is Jesus we should be seeking our direction from as a body of believers. It is His will that we should seek through prayer, the word, circumstance and other believers. Once we as a body know His will, we then should begin to join Him in His work.

As we embark on the transition of finding a new Pastor to lead our congregation, we must remember that Jesus is still in charge. How ever long it takes and how ever difficult it may become, we must stay focused on His will, not our own. If we look for His direction and then follow where He directs, it will keep us from falling prey to the enemies tactics.

At a time like this, where transition in leadership is taking place, is when Satan loves to do damage to the body of Christ. We as the people of Christ must be aware of his ploys and stay focused and directed by Jesus to ward off the attacks likely to come our way.

We as the body of believers must strive to stay unified.

We must stay focused on being directed by the head - Jesus Christ. Often churches can settle for majority rule in times of transitions because they don't want to wait for the head to unify the entire body. God is the one that builds His church. Each person is in the body and brought to the congregation by God. Jesus prayed for unity in the church (John 17) so the world would believe in him. We should have a similar burden for unity.

We as believers can build up or tear down. During this time of transition, we must be mindful of our responsibility to one another. It is our responsibility to urge each other to unity and not division.

We have a responsibility to help the church accomplish Gods purpose through it.
Each one of us has a responsibility to further the purpose of God. Our church body was established by God for the purpose of furthering the kingdom and bringing Him glory. This purpose can not be fulfilled unless we each take our responsibility to do our part to accomplish it.

You may wonder what that responsibility looks like. I believe it looks like this:

*Each of us must take responsibility for our own attitudes and actions.
We must come together with the attitude of Samuel in 1 Samuel 3:10. Eli told Samuel the go lie down and when the Lord called him to say "Speak Lord, your servant hears." So when the Lord called Samuel he said "Speak Lord, your servant hears."

Samuel didn't argue or resist the Lord. Instead, he came with a humble, compliant, open heart. He came with an open heart to hear what ever it was the Lord had to say.

We too must come to this transition that the Lord has set before us with a humble, compliant, open heart. Our heart and attitude must be one like Samuels, "speak Lord, your servant hears." It doesn't matter who the speaker is on Sunday morning, God speaks when His word is being proclaimed. If we come each Sunday with an open heart we will continue to hear from the Lord no matter who is at the pulpit.

*Each of us also has a responsibility to be our brother’s keeper.

During this time, if we see a brother going in the wrong direction or bringing disharmony to the body, we have the responsibility to reach out in love. We must be advocates for the body and its unity.

If we see others that are unhappy or tearing down instead of building up, we must gently remind them the purpose of the church. It is for Gods glory, we come together. It is His church, in which He graciously allows us to serve.

Stuck In my Sin

I must confess to you, I am struggling and my writing has suffered. Each step we take to the next place with God takes courage and faith. There are times when God wants to take us to the next thing, he wants a part of us to die off so He can become stronger in us. I am at one of those times.

I know that I must go to the next level, or my walk will suffer. I know that He wants to change this part of me but I am struggling with it.

I have always struggled with having the will power to stay away from things I really wanted. Even if it was bad for me and I knew it, I still was powerless to overcome my thoughts.

I have come a long way in this struggle to gain self control in my life, God has taken many bad behaviors and addictions out of my life. The last one is my issue with weight. Four years ago when I stopped smoking, I instantly began to gain weight. I now need to loss over 50 pounds and live a more healthy life. I know I must learn to live better but I like bad foods.

The truth is, I haven't really wanted to give up my way of living and eating. I know God is requiring it but I still love my sin.

Lord,

Please give me the heart that wants to change. Give me a heart that hates my sin.

Amen

Quilt of Holes

I received this story in an email today. It touched my heart and I thought it might touch yours.

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.

Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life..

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been.

My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame.

I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air.

I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ.

Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes.. He said, 'Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.'

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!