All Things are in His Hands - Part 1

On February 28th I wrote a post called "Honest Before God". In that post I spoke very honestly about how I was feeling about the circumstances that my husband and I have experienced in the last year.

I did not completely reveal the story behind what I was feeling. I was raw inside at the time I was writing. Full of some very real pain from a year of hard circumstances. I spilled out some emotional words from the depths of the humility God had taken me too.

From that post an interview was sparked that aired on the radio station, 91.3 FM in the Dallas Fort Worth area. The post "Honest Before God" caught the interest of Jim Norman at "Wise People", who interviewed me for his program. (You can download an MP3 of the interview on the left side of my blog)

At the time I did the interview, the story wasn't complete. Today, we are further into the story but yet the story goes on.

I would like to share it with you here. I can't share it all, as I just said, the journey hasn't ended yet. But I will share what we have come to learn so far.

It all started early last year when my husband walked through the door coming home from work one day. It was an ordinary day, nothing strange had happened to spark my feelings of unease.

I caught just a glimpse of him as he passed through the hallway heading towards the bedroom to change his clothes. Sitting in the living room, typing on my computer as I am right now, the thought crossed my mind, "he lost his job".

What was I thinking! I had no reason to think such a thing. The Spirit within had warned me. He had lost his job.

He had not just lost a job; he had lost the best job he had ever worked. A thousand acres of manicured lawn behind our house (a golf course) and a swimming pool in the back yard. We were comfortable, finally living the good life. Or were we?????

It was that day that God began a work in me that is still continuing today. My initial reaction to the news was like most would probably have. I knew in my head that God is in control of everything. I knew I should just have faith and trust the God was good and that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I loved Him; therefore He would take care of me. I knew all these things.

The problem came in putting those things to work and truly believing them. Although, I knew how I should respond, my heart was not at peace. My heart responded with fear while my head said I should just trust in the Lord.

The following day I spent a lot of time in prayer. While on the treadmill in my basement, I was asking God to help me. "Help my heart be a peace" I asked of the Lord. What I feared was what everyone fears in that situation. "We are going to lose everything, the nice house, the comfortable life we had built". All the worst possible outcomes ran through my head. Then I heard the Lord say to me "What if it all goes away? What if you do lose everything? Then what will you do?"

My response took sometime to ponder on those questions. How would I respond if everything was taken from me? Would I respond in anger and become bitter or would I trust that my God was good even when I did not understand?

My response was this "Then Lord, I will praise you. Because I do not praise and love you for what you can give me but for who you are." In that moment a peace washed over me like I had never felt. I would be ok; I was my Father's daughter and what ever happened that would not change. I might lose everything materially but I would never lose my hope and my God.

A month turned into two and the Lord provided all the way. Next thing you know, a job came. Not the job my husband wanted and with much less income but a job none the less. From the moment he arrived at this company, it was a complete mess. My husband, Dave, began to ask the Lord to get him out of there. "What in the world are you doing Lord? This place is getting ready to go out of business" Two month later Dave is back pounding the pavement looking for a job. While Dave was at that company, several very needy people heard the truth of the gospel. Lesson learned.... sometimes the assignment from God is short.

Back to the job search. One month later.... another job. Again not the money he was making but enough to survive and opportunity to grow. His excitement built as this company looked to have huge potential. They were a small company that was growing. Problem was they were growing faster than they could handle. Two months later....... the company can't meet its financial obligations because the bank decides not to continue to back them. All funding is pulled out and they are left with no alternative but to close the doors. Once again Dave is without a job.

This job ended in September of 2009. Since that time no permanent employment has surfaced. Dave, being in the business of construction, has the ability to make money on his own but there is no security. Each small job pays what it pays and then you look for more work. This has been our existence since September.

Continued tomorrow.........