Tuesday, November 16, 2010

We All Become Orphans At Some Point

Today I got some sad news. My brother in-law, whom I love so dearly lost his father two days ago. If it wasn't hard enough, he also lost his mother just a mere four weeks before this. Dealing with the death of a parent, all though inevitable for us all, is a very hard thing go through. How much harder to lose both parents one after the other.

I can not say I know what this feels like. I only know the grief and loss from a bystanders view point. I myself, several years ago,watched as my husband experienced the loss of his mother and soon after, his father. Although, I haven't been through the loss of my parents, I know that I will eventually have to face that grief.

Thinking today about my brother in-law (and in Christ), my mind wandered to how he must feel right now. How losing both parents must bring a person to the feeling of being orphaned. The feeling of being left on your own without the familiar safety net we have always counted on. You see, as long as we are still someone's child, we have someone to run to when we are scared or need counsel. As long as our parents are alive, the small child that lives within each of us has a Momma or a Daddy to run to when times are tough. We can still run and tuck our head in Momma lap or bury our head in Daddy's shoulder. We may not do this literally, but the availability to do so is always there. We get to live in the illusion that we are protected from a big, hard, ugly, cruel world. There is always that feeling of protection that hovers over us as long as they are with us here on earth.

What I realized as I watched my husband go through similar circumstances is that a shift must take place. First, we must allow ourselves to grieve. There is no shame in shedding tears for the loss of a loved one. They cared for us and loved us, they deserve our tears of grief.

Through the grieving process there must come a honesty before God. A place where you share how much you hurt with God so He can begin to mend the brokenness. When we take the time to bring our grief to Him, He will give us more than we could ever expect. He will be our comforter, our friend, our place of protection and our great healer of the heart. More than that, He knows our state of loss and our loneliness. He knows that we are now orphans in a big cruel world that just got bigger.

Here's the thing.... If we let Him, God will fill that hole our parents left behind. He will become the Father that is there hovering to protect us. He will become the Father always there to bury our head in when were scared. He will be to us all the things we believe we lost, if we ask.

So for my brother..... I say to you....I love you. It's okay to feel grief. Call on those of us around you when you need an ear,a hug or a friend. We are here. But more than that, your great Father in Heaven is only a thought away and He loves you.


Andrea said...

I praise GOD we have a Heavenly Father who meets us in the midst of our deepest trials....

Anonymous said...

Hello, so glad I stopped by, I lost both my parents and I was there caretaker along with Hospice. that was a long road. Very Thankful for my Heavenly Father, yes I am much closer to Him now! He reached down and touched my heart as I reached up to Him. He became My Husband after my divorce, and now my Parent. He does pull you through the grief, He walks it with you. great Post!!