Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Fight the Fear to Share

When I accepted Christ as my savior, He lit a fire in my soul. It was as if I couldn't keep the words of truth in my mouth. They spewed on anyone that would listen. I wanted everyone to know the pure joy of Christ's love that I had found. What I had been given was so incredible I just couldn't stop myself. I was consumed with a fire that went down to my toes.

Then the words of persecution came. And if I listen closely now, I can still recall the sounds of laughter. My words of excitement and enthusiasm meet with reproach from those I loved. They were cruel and hateful. How could family, those I loved dearly, treat me with such ugliness? They had trampled all over my feelings without a second thought. I may as well of laid my body on the ground and let them walk over the top of me, for the way that it felt.

As I was met with such opposition to sharing my faith with others, I began to recoil. Little by little, as the persecution persisted, I backed away, closed my mouth and the burning fire turned to embers. Fear had gripped me. It was a fear that eventually extinguished the roaring fire within me. All that was left was a sputtering flame and a whole lot of smoke.

At times, fear still grips me. The fire in me starts up, I feel the push to share, and then there’s a terror that begins inside. I recall the tongue lashings I received from those I loved. They are words that left scars behind.

The fear of rejection has been so overwhelming at times that I have felt myself trembling. I get all nervous and shaky inside. Then I trip all over my words as I try to share Christ.

What I do know though, is it should not be this hard to share. I have big faith and I LOVE Him just as big. So I often have to take my fears to God in prayer. I keep stepping out in faith and as I do, the fear is beginning to lose its grip. I take one step of faith at a time. And I remind myself, “How will they know if no one tells them.”

Today, as once again I battled the fear, I had to take my frailty to God in prayer. I began to soak myself in His word and this is what He gave me.

Isaiah 51:22-23 - Thus says your Lord, The Lord and your God, Who pleads the cause of His people: "See, I have taken out of your hand the cup of trembling, the dregs of the cup of My fury; you shall no longer drink it. But I will put it into the hand of those who afflict you. Who have said to you, 'Lie down, that we may walk over you.' And you have laid your body like the ground, and as the street, for those who walk over.

Those that laugh can continue to laugh if they like but they will not laugh forever. Jesus pleads the cause of those that love Him. Those of us that are covered by His blood will not see wrath because of His sacrifice. But whoa to those that are not covered, for the wrath of a mighty God is to be greatly feared.

He has taken the cup of trembling from me. I have nothing more to fear. I may have laid down before for those to mock and ridicule but no more. I only pray those that continue to refuse Him turn to him before it’s too late. I need only to read this verse to begin to plead for their mercy.


Beth in NC said...

Poor thing. :o( I'm sorry you were hurt by family of all people. The family who made "light" of my love for the Lord were those who were supposedly "saved" ... oh my.

I pray the Spirit of God will fall UPON you and give you great boldness. Look in the bible at each time the Spirit came UPON someone. Great things happened!

Bless you dear!

Anonymous said...

praise, God

Jason The Bald Guy said...

Rock on you crazy lady!!! I love you to death and your blog is just a fiery blazing beacon of truth and authenticity!!!

I cannot say enough how refreshing it is to read your blog!!

Keep it up!!!

FishHawk said...

O Lord, you deceived me, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me. Whenever I speak, I cry out proclaimining violence and destruction. So the word of the Lord has brought me insult and reproach all day long. But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. {Jeremiah 20:7-9 NIV}

That passage is very bittersweet to me. For it is comforting to know that I am not the only one to feel as I so often do, but I am still ashamed of not being able to "count it all joy" yet.

I will be oh so very glad when He gives you the strength to be more interactive online. For I would love to have someone else to talk to about such things.

Billy Coffey said...

There is such honesty in these words, and I admire you for that.

Omah's Helping Hands said...

Amen! Awesome post Sherri. Have so missed reading your posts. Am looking forward to reading more! God bless, and thank you for a great lift tonight.