Saturday, December 6, 2008

10 Things Every Husband Ought To Know

1. Exclaiming "Jesus, where are we?" Is not considered asking for directions.

2. Watching the children is not called babysitting. Babysitters get paid and NO we are not going to pay you.

3. When your wife asks "How do I look?" The right thing to do is exclaim "Wonderful!", exit immediately and go help the children with something.

4. We really would quit repeating ourselves if your eyes didn't glaze over and you nodded occasionally. Then we would believe you heard us the first time.

5. Frantically flicking your car headlights at another driver that you are upset with is still considered road rage.

6. The reply "Fine" is really another word for "if you do I'm going to be very upset".

7. A little help with dinner and the kids at night will do wonders for your love life.

8. If you play wrestling with the kids right before bed, expect to play "put the kids back in bed" for the next hour.

9. If you don't lift the toilet seat up your sons will never learn it either and your daughters will blame you for falling in.

10. When going out and you ask where we want to eat, "I don't know" really means, "Please pick somewhere but make sure its a place that I like"

Do you have any things of your own all husbands ought to know?


cube said...

hee hee. I think your list covered it pretty much.

Here's something similar...

All husbands should know that filling the dishwasher one time doesn't give you a pass for the next 3 months.

At our house, I call it the 100 to 1 rule.

Peter P said...


...and I was under the delusion before I got married that I would be in charge in the house!

Red Hot Momma often posts lists like this. Take this one for instance:

Tammy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammy said...

The comment you left touched my heart and gives me hope. I try to stay out of God's way so that Ryan will feel the pressure that will to cause him to fall to his knees.

But at times,unblief slips in and you just want to give up.
Thank you for your prayers and words that I needed to hear.

Oh,I so love number.

4.We really would quit repeating ourselves if your eyes didn't glaze over and you nodded occasionally. Then we would believe you heard us the first time.

I usually make my husband repeat what I just said to make sure he heard me:)

Mulled Vine said...

I'm a husband, and by your list a pretty good one. ;-)

Here are some more:

Husbands, if your wife asked you to do something which you forget, don't take her up on her gritted teeth offer to do it herself. Leap into apologetic action.

Husbands, just because you've forgotten the argument, doesn't mean its over.

And finally, a little joke...

John and Hilda were attending a marriage renewal course together. One evening the husbands were asked to name their wives' favourite flowers. John smiled and leaned over confidently to Hilda, "Self-raising, right?"

We can't be taught.

I might do one on wives... :)

Sherri Watt said...

Thanks everyone! I am glad that everyone took this all in fun.

Mulled Vine,
Please do one on wives! It would be fun. I liked your joke too! hehe

Mulled Vine said...

Tis done: