I too claimed there was no God at one point in my life. First of all, if there was a God then why wouldn't He just show himself? And more than that I wanted to know how a supposedly loving God could allow such ugliness to happen in the world. I mean come on; if He has the power to create the world surely He could get rid of evil?
I wanted nothing to do with God, why did I need God? I had everything I needed within myself to live my life. Besides, He's too rigid and full of rules. I would have to give up things in my life and I like my life the way it is. I like to sleep in on Sundays. Why go to church anyway, all the church is filled with is hypocrites. You know, those people that say they love others like God does, but they don't really do it. I've meet those "church" people, all they do is look down on me and my lifestyle.
You know that God didn't really create everything and the bible is just an old book of fables anyway. Right? Come on people we evolved from simple organism's over time.
I really knew nothing about God or religion. I claimed to not believe in God because as a child I had prayed to Him when my parents divorced and felt He didn't answer me. I was mad at God and wanted nothing to do with Him. I had prayed for my parents to stay together and they didn't, therefore, there was no God. There was no real knowledge to back up my decision, just what I felt. I formed my opinions not with an open mind towards God but with a closed mind.
Then when I got older, something happened in my life. Circumstances and life got bigger than I was able to handle. My life was out of control and so was I. I ended up in a place where the circumstances were bigger than me. There wasn't anyone else in my life that could fix it either. Who could help, there was no help and no where to turn. My life was now unbearable and all I wanted was for the emotional pain I was in to be gone. I attempted suicide, I didn't really want to die, I was scared to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. I needed help and I began to hope there was a God. I needed supernatural help and if God couldn't provide that, then there just was no hope at all.
I was told that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, that if I believed, accepted the gift of salvation He offered and turned away from my sins I could go to heaven. There was a God who loved me enough to send His son to die on the cross for me and if I turned to Him, He would help me. In that moment, I opened my heart and said a very small prayer. "Jesus I believe you died for me, Please help me" Suddenly, He was there, I could feel Him all around me. I saw Him in his creation, in the way the clouds moved, in the movement of the wind as it blew the leaves from the trees. He was everywhere around me and I had not seen it. He was there all the time, I just hadn't seen it. I couldn't see the truth because my heart was so hard.
You see, if we tell God to go away, He will. He is a gracious God and will not force himself on us. But there are consequences for remaining separated from God and they are dire. Originally, God created man to be with Him, to be in direct contact with Him face to face. Man changed all that when he chose to sin. God can not be around sin, so from the beginning of time He has constructed a way for man to get back to Him. That way was made through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. But those that reject His offer get what they ask for; they get eternal hell, eternal separation from God.
Sure I still had doubts about things even after I accepted Christ. I still needed answers to the questions I spoke about in the beginning of this letter. Through seeking and asking He has answered those questions for me and given me a peace about my choice. There is now a hope I never had before and there is no going back to where I was. I am forever His.
I am joyful and full of hope because of who He is making me to be. Life has changed and it is for the better.
I will write you again my friend. Next time to tell you about the answers He has given me.
2 weeks ago
5 comments:
i love reading everything you write! While i am not a christian, i have been brought up in a christian family and i believe everything, but have not accepted it for myself, for various reasons i shall blog about soon ;p
However i have a friend who is an atheist and if i can get her to read it, who knows what impact it may have?
Besides, anyone's testimony is great to hear, thank you for sharing (:
Great post Sherri.
...and don't forget, sharing your testimony like this is a great way to give! (that's two things you've given today)
Toivoa,
Thank you for the compliment, I am glad you like reading what I write. You said you are not a christian, if you would ever like to talk one on one, please feel free to email me directly. For now, here is a Big Hug for you!!!
Sherri, Thanks for sharing your testimony! SO thankful you found the joy of Jesus, forgiveness and hope in Him!
Sherri,
your gentle words are just the thing needed these days! It is always refreshing to read your blog!
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