Tuesday, January 20, 2009

If only I Was Made of Rubber

Bounces off of me and sticks to you....

Sometimes I wish this were true. I wish that I was made of rubber so things would just bounce right off me. So the things people do and say wouldn't stick to me like they do. It would also be helpful in the sense of humility. Maybe if my neck was rubber it wouldn't stiffen in pride so often. Maybe I would be more pliable, bendable. Then I wouldn't crack under the stress when God is trying to bend me a little. Instead, I often find that I am rigid and stiff when I should be just going with the flow.

This happens most often for me with my husband. I know that I am supposed to put his needs before mine but doing so seems difficult at times. It is so ingrained to think of myself first. You see, I like to be right. I like it when I get to be the one that wins. Admitting when I'm not right, ohhh, that stings! I can be wrong with everyone else in the world but my husband is a completely different story. Why is that?

It just seems like I am pliable and loving....... my husband says something and BAM! The next thing you know, I have the taste of his head in my mouth. My mouth can move at the speed of light to bite his head off and on occasion spit it back out at him. How ugly is that? How does that reflect Christ? The truth is, it doesn't, and neither do I in these times.

Why is it that those we love the most, are the ones that get the worst from us at times?

I have noticed that sometimes just my tone of voice or attitude can make my words sound wrong. Why is it we feel justified in our actions when it comes to those we love the most? We don't set out to hurt those we love, but in our words and actions at times we do.

Then pride sets in and we want to roll around in it a while. At least that's my story. My stubborn pride has kept me from just letting go of things. Remember; where my husband is concerned, I like to be right. So I will blow up all his flaws in my mind when I am angry, then I don't need to apologize and admit my own fault. When God finally gets a hold of me about it, I have made it a much bigger offense than it needed to be.

So how do you change a thing so automatic? First I believe we must be deliberate. We must be conscious of the words we choose and the tone of our heart when we say them. Like I always tell my son, "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing". For a while, you may just need to practice saying nothing.

I Thessalonians 5:15 says - "See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Even when evil comes our way, we must actively seek to repay it with good.

Lord, change my stiff neck and make me bendable. My mouth opens too quickly when I should just listen. Make me sensitive to others, especially my family. Help me to say nothing when I have nothing good to say. Give me power to hold my tongue and practice the gift of silence. AMEN


Ben said...

I think the reason behind why we argue a lot more with people we love than with others is because we are more free with our loved ones. This freedom sometimes makes us think we can say or do anything to those precious people in our lives. I totally get what you are trying to say. The saying nothing part comes easy for me.. LOL. But it needs a lot of practice for others.

Anonymous said...

The very first time the Holy Spirit convicted me after I was saved was when, in a very self-righteous way, I hurt someone's feelings. Not just any someone, but the very person who had led me to the Lord. How bad is that?

I've wondered sometimes if this isn't one of the main reasons God created marriage: We can't put on our "holy" faces 24/7, so what's really inside of us is exposed to those closest to us. If we aren't close to anyone, then much ugliness can stay hidden.

Tracy said...

ughhhh! It is so true and I can go off just like that with my husband.. YUCK!

I must need a lot of rough edges smoothed out! ;-)

Debra said...


After many wounds in the beginning of our marriage, I can honestly say that this is no longer an issue in ours. Jay and I believe that love always yields and therefore we try diligently to yield to the other person and let no prideful thing stand before us.

Doesn't always happen, but we try.

I loved your prayer...may the Lord bless you and honor your request.

Billy Coffey said...

It's often that those we love the most are the ones we hurt the most. Marriage is an ongoing process, I suppose. It always needs a little tinkering here and there.

L.L. Barkat said...

I like the idea of practicing saying nothing. It saves some hurt, but it also gives us time to think on ourselves and our responses.

Thanks for stopping by Seedlings. :)

Omah's Helping Hands said...

We women seem to be equipped with that poison arrow. You had posed the question, "Why is it that those we love the most, are the ones that get the worst from us at times?"
Who does Satan attack the most? The ones closest to us. He wants to put that bridge between us so that we can not become stronger in each other and in Christ. The stronger two come into Him, the more the enemy strikes. He doesn't like the power two or more has together.
I keep praying that my tongue is softened. My family is the last ones I want to hurt. But they are the ones that catch it first. It is getting better though.
I wish you much success in taming your tongue as well. May the Lord pour His blessings upon you.