Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Is Purity Old School?

So what do you think, is the concept of purity "old school"? Is it out dated and archaic? Should people live together in sin and then get married? Is the idea of waiting to have sex until marriage a thing of the past? Should we accept the standards that abound in our society today about our sexuality?

Seems like many think staying pure until marriage is an unreasonable request. Many think we should have the freedom to "do what feels good" as long as we stay safe while were doing it. I too used to think this way. Even after I was saved, I couldn't see the problem of living with the one I was going to marry before hand.

It wasn't until I was deep in study that God took me on a journey to understand what He intended for us when He told us to remain pure. What I found was, it’s not for punishment or to teach us how to have restraint. Although restraint is not a bad thing to learn and practice. More on that topic some other time... Purity is for our own protection. God wanted us to remain pure so we would have fewer thoughts to cause us to be tempted and sin.

Let me explain, sin first comes from a thought in our minds. Something rolls across our mind and we now have the choice to stop and ponder on it or not. Once we begin to ponder on it, our next step is to act upon it. Before you know it we are knee deep in the act of sin.

When we have experienced sexual things, we have a memory of it burned into our minds. Not only is it now in our minds when we recall it, it also invokes a physical reaction from our body when we think on it. Now we not only have a thought cross our mind, we also have a vivid memory and a physical reaction that drives us. What it does is make it much harder to thwart off temptation.

God knew that if we were exposed to things impure we would struggle in our thought life with it. He knew how great sexual temptation would be, He understood our human weakness and He loved us enough to want to protect us. The best protection He could give us was to require us to remain pure.

It is not unlike what we do as parents. We want our children to stay completely away from certain things. We do not want our children to experience any thing that could hurt them or scar them later in life. We do our best to protect them from the things that could possibly do that. When they are too small to fend for themselves we do our best to keep them completely out of harms way.

Sexual thoughts can lead to many things, adultery, pornography, rape, sexual child abuse, teen pregnancy, unwed pregnancy, abortion, etc..... God wanted to protect us from these things happening.

But let’s take unwanted pregnancy right now. When we engage in sexual activity outside of marriage, we take the chance of unwanted pregnancy. Of course we say to ourselves, it could never happen to me, but then it does. Now we have a huge decision to make. God doesn't want us to have to even be put in these kinds of circumstances.

What about adultery, would it be less likely for a man or woman to stray if they had no experiential memory of sex from the past? It becomes a more real idea when you have something to go back to in your memory. Especially when there is trouble in the marriage and you can begin to think back on previous relationships. Those thoughts would not be there if the experience were not there.

Once the experience takes place, it puts a memory in our mind; a thought is forever burned into our memory of it. A random thought may be removed and replaced with another thought but a memory is there forever.

A memory is there forever to be used by Satan in a multitude of ways. When your marriage isn't going so well, He reminds you of the fun you had before or that person that got away. Then when you think on it, Satan tells you how awful you are. "You’re not a real Christian with thoughts like that, might as well give it up".

God never intended for us to struggle, so to protect us and take care of us He required certain things of us. One of those things He required was purity. He still requires it today, even in a morally bankrupt environment. We are to stand out from the world and remain pure in all ways. Spiritually and Physically.

Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virture and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.


Jan said...

Well said. I agree.

Peter P said...

Great post!

Cain probably thought that killing abel 'felt good' at the time!

Channelofhealing said...

GODBLESS YOU Sis, certainly loved this post, many think it is hard staying that way but it is not at all. for we can do all things through Christ that strenghtens us as long as a person wants God to guide them God will certainly do so.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Sherri, and I agree. So many of the things that God "forbids" are merely the words of a loving Father trying to protect us. Like little kids, though, we rebel (but everybody else is doing it!) and then we suffer the consequences.

I was married for 10 years, then divorced and a single parent for 11 more years. I had my own standards, but purity was not one of them.

Then I got saved, and purity was a big issue. As I continued to date in those early days, I would ask anyone and everyone for good scriptures to keep me from succumbing to the temptations of the flesh - and I prayed and prayed some more. Then I met my future husband, a Christian, and it was even harder.

We were both committed, though, and a funny thing happened, literally, on the way to the altar. One week before our wedding, we traveled for an event in his family that required an overnight stay in a motel. We reserved separate rooms, but knowing that the temptation would be serious, I prayed almost nonstop for a couple weeks before.

Then when we checked in, an amazing thing happened. I had a little refrigerator in my room, and we were having a late night snack together, as we hadn't had time for dinner.

While we ate, this amazing peace came over me, and I knew we could spend the whole night together without giving in. After some conversation, that's exactly what we did. I wouldn't recommend this path to anyone, but it was an incredible blessing to be close to each other all night, and still be safe in the power of the Holy Spirit.

The upshot of all this is that we were pure with each other when we got married, and for the first time in my adult life, I felt like a virgin bride.

How's that for a gift from God?

Andy C said...

Yes it is old school, in that it is a time honored value that is steeped in God's will for us. And that is a good thing.

Yes, many consider it outdated. But the parts of the Bible that go against our sinful prude and lusts are always looked at negatively by an unbelieving world, but we stick to them. And that is a good thing.

Beth in NC said...

Great posts. Ya know, when I was young, I knew what I was doing wasn't right, but I didn't understand the consequences of my actions. I will definitely make sure my daughter understands that WE BECOME ONE with each person we sleep with! That means all of their spiritual baggage joins ours! Soul ties are created and there you go! Not to mention the many other spiritual doors that are opened.

I pray God will give us wisdom how to impart His wisdom and truth into our children.

Bless you,

Ben said...

Purity is Power. Having purity on our side we are more confident in ourselves and less prone to temptation.. being pure in our adolescent years takes discipline and devotion to God. Finally, when you get to share the marriage bed How many people can truly tell their wives/husbands that they saved something for them all their life. Those marriages will be successful and fruitful. The truth of the matter is that investment in marriage starts way before marriage.

Sherri Watt said...

Great Comments guys!!!
Thanks Peter and Channel!

GaGa, what a gift from God and powerful testimony!!!

Andy, True, it is old school, and steeped in Gods will. Well said!

Beth, so right we do become one in the soul with those we sleep with.

Ben, What a gift to give your spouse. I only wish I could have given that gift.

God Bless you all!

The Bible Post said...

Amen, Sherri!

Blessings to you...

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

It's strange how people in our nature look at God's commands as punishment, and try to do everything to deny it, to maintain 'freedom' and happiness. And all God wanted to do was protect us and make us as happy as we could be. Proves the enslaving effect sin has on us.

Rebekah said...

I think about this alot in regards to my four children. They are still young but I'm already praying for them to desire purity, asking God to give them wisdom. Great post!

Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. I'm glad to 'meet' you! :)

Have a blessed day!

Omah's Helping Hands said...

Oh how I wish I had been pure. I was one of those stubborn ones. You are right, once you committ that sin, it is so easy to repeat it over and over again.
It may be old school, but I sincerely believe we would all be bettter off going back to the old school ways of life.

Pastor Lars said...

Good post!

Our society gives mixed messages to our young people. On one hand almost every advertisement involves some implied sex but then those behind the ads say men are sexist because they respond to these ads.

God created sexual intimacy for the pleasure of a husband and wife.

For men who have a problem with viewing sexual images online I encourage you to get a filter or accountability software. Also find an encouraging partner or accountability partner.

Women I encourage you to think about what you wear. Showing a little cleavage may seem harmless but for a guy who has a lust problem it triggers the battle he fights.

When I do marriage counseling I tell men once they are married their male member belongs to their wife and I tell women that once they are married their husband owns their body. That does not mean either can abuse the other but it means their partner has the only right to it.