Letting Go

Today for me is a day of reflection. It is for me, a day of looking back on the last 24 years but for my son, it is a day for looking forward. You see, yesterday my little boy took a bride and started a new journey. January 17, 2009 marks a starting point for him, a new beginning. A place to embark on the journey of life we all take when we marry someone and begin our lives with them.

It is hard for me as his mother to let him go. Most of his life I was a single parent and he was my first and only priority. Although I know that he is a man now, in my mother vision, he will always be my little boy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for him. He chose well, his new bride is a beautiful person inside and out. Even though I believe God has brought them together, my selfish side continues to want to hold on.

You see, I will no longer be the first one he runs to when he's hurt or upset. That is hard for me to come to grips with. Letting go is difficult but I have to release that duty because it’s now in the hands of his wife.

As a parent, our natural tendencies are to protect our children. As I sit here today, I am reminded that they are not alone. Even when our children go out on there own in this big scary world, they too have a God that watches over them.

So as my son embarks on a new journey so do I. My journey is a different one then his. While his is about beginning, mine is about ending and letting go. Mine is one of trust in God that He has my son firmly in his hand. That the promises of God I hold so close to me and stand firmly on are the same promises for my son. As in all circumstances, we are to learn and grow from them. This is no different; I must learn and grow not by holding on but by letting go.

What will God teach me? Well, I think maybe he will teach me about prayer, how my prayers are now my biggest tools I should use for my son and his wife. I am sure I will learn about trust, I already am learning about this one. I must trust God to watch over and take care of them.
I am sure the next 24 years will be a different journey. One that is lead not by a mother taking care of her son, but of a man leading his own family while a mother watches and prays.

For me today is somewhat bittersweet, there is a little bit of mourning for what was, mixed with happiness and pride for what has come. I am proud of the type of man my son has become. God gave me a good one to take care of for Him. I know that He was really never mine, he has always belonged to God, and I was only given the task of caring for him while on this earth. So I leave him now in the hands of the one who made him. He knows what’s best for him and I trust in His care. My prayers will go up each day for not just my son but also his wife now. Eventually, as they have children, prayers for them will be added.

I don't know what the future holds for the two of them but my prayer will be that what ever it is, it will be lead by God. My hope is that their lives and their union will glorify our Lord and Savior. They are off to a good start.

As for me, I'm learning.....