Sunday, January 18, 2009

Letting Go

Today for me is a day of reflection. It is for me, a day of looking back on the last 24 years but for my son, it is a day for looking forward. You see, yesterday my little boy took a bride and started a new journey. January 17, 2009 marks a starting point for him, a new beginning. A place to embark on the journey of life we all take when we marry someone and begin our lives with them.

It is hard for me as his mother to let him go. Most of his life I was a single parent and he was my first and only priority. Although I know that he is a man now, in my mother vision, he will always be my little boy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for him. He chose well, his new bride is a beautiful person inside and out. Even though I believe God has brought them together, my selfish side continues to want to hold on.

You see, I will no longer be the first one he runs to when he's hurt or upset. That is hard for me to come to grips with. Letting go is difficult but I have to release that duty because it’s now in the hands of his wife.

As a parent, our natural tendencies are to protect our children. As I sit here today, I am reminded that they are not alone. Even when our children go out on there own in this big scary world, they too have a God that watches over them.

So as my son embarks on a new journey so do I. My journey is a different one then his. While his is about beginning, mine is about ending and letting go. Mine is one of trust in God that He has my son firmly in his hand. That the promises of God I hold so close to me and stand firmly on are the same promises for my son. As in all circumstances, we are to learn and grow from them. This is no different; I must learn and grow not by holding on but by letting go.

What will God teach me? Well, I think maybe he will teach me about prayer, how my prayers are now my biggest tools I should use for my son and his wife. I am sure I will learn about trust, I already am learning about this one. I must trust God to watch over and take care of them.
I am sure the next 24 years will be a different journey. One that is lead not by a mother taking care of her son, but of a man leading his own family while a mother watches and prays.

For me today is somewhat bittersweet, there is a little bit of mourning for what was, mixed with happiness and pride for what has come. I am proud of the type of man my son has become. God gave me a good one to take care of for Him. I know that He was really never mine, he has always belonged to God, and I was only given the task of caring for him while on this earth. So I leave him now in the hands of the one who made him. He knows what’s best for him and I trust in His care. My prayers will go up each day for not just my son but also his wife now. Eventually, as they have children, prayers for them will be added.

I don't know what the future holds for the two of them but my prayer will be that what ever it is, it will be lead by God. My hope is that their lives and their union will glorify our Lord and Savior. They are off to a good start.

As for me, I'm learning.....

11 comments:

nAncY said...

well done!

R.L.Scovens said...

This is a great post. It makes you think. I often think of what it will be like for me when my son grows up and leaves...

valerie lynn said...

Sherri, letting go is never easy especially when it comes to your children. In reading your words I could feel your pain and your joy. On one hand you had to let your "little" boy go and on the other hand you know He is safe in God's hands.

He will always be your "little" boy. There will be times when He will call just to talk with "mom". Stay strong my friend. You are safe in God's hands also.

Love you!

Diane L. Harris said...

I enjoyed this post and dugg it.

Completing any difficult work is always bittersweet. Your faithfulness will be rewarded.

God's Not Finished With Us Yet... said...

I love your honesty. And with your honesty, I guess comes mine....I feel sad for you! It just sounds so sad. Can I say that and be real with you?

Hopefully you and his new wife have a wonderful relationship and if they have children one day you can once again have that fulfilling 'mothering' bond to your grandbaby that you've held towards your son. Though it won't replace your son, but hopefully it will bring a new generation of joy and pleasure.

So, uh....where are the photo's from the wedding??? I bet it was an amazing ceremony! Congrats for embraching a new daughter in law!!!!

Ben said...

Wishing your son a long and happy married life. In a way you did not lose a son from your grasp, you just got one more daughter.

madcat said...

Hey Sherri, first of all, I want to wish your son all the best for his future days! You must be so proud!

I saw your comment and advice, and I really appreciate it. Although we are miles away, I know what you meant, and I feel what you were trying to say.

I have been trying to read the Bible, I have been trying to pray too. I know about the "put-your-knowledge-together-with-your-heart" thing, but for now, the doubts about Christianity specifically have been overwhelming.

Here are some questions actually, and if you have time, I do seek your advice. But if you are busy, it's ok.

- Why is Christianity is so divided (with so man variations and denominations) if Go has revealed to christians about His plans?

- Why did christians add the vowels into God's name, YAHWEH, when it was supposed to be YHWH. Isn't God's name very sacred and holy, and that we should not be changing His name as we like? Now, I a confused about God's name. Am I calling on the right God?

These are the 2 main troubling questions in my head right now.

I am so sorry if this discourage syou but I need some advice. I don't feel like troubling my pastor over this.

Debra said...

Sherri,

Wow! This absolutely touched my heart. My son is 16 and we are praying for his bride one day. I can't imagine the letting go process and how difficult that will be but I, like you, will know that God will be faithful to walk me through it.

Blessings to you today!

Billy Coffey said...

This post has really gotten me thinking. My son is five, and my daughter turned seven yesterday (I begged her last night to please stop growing now). I know the day will come when both will leave home and begin their own lives. But I know, too, that I will always be their father.

Wonderful post.

Sherri Watt said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. The wedding was beautiful and I am very glad to have a new daughter added to the family. She is a gem.

As in alot things, change is both good and hard at times. Our children grow up so fast, we only get one opportunity to do the things as a parent should. When your child spreads their wings and flys on their own it is bittersweet.

It is a very strange feeling to be happy and sad at the same time. I think there are only a few occassions where that happens and this was one of them.

God Bless you all!!!

akaGaGa said...

Blessings on your son and his new wife. I went through the same thing with my "baby" last year. After all the hoopla was over, thought, the Lord suddenly filled my heart with an incredible joy. I was free!

After 30+ years of mostly single parenthood, my children no longer had to be first in my decisions. I could safely leave them in the Lord's hands. I truly felt like all things were possible.

I pray God blesses you in the same way.