Words of a Father

I started my day today with a sadness that I could not pin point the cause of. It’s that feeling that comes over you in a crowded room when you feel so alone. I have always pondered on that, how we can be surrounded by people in our lives but feel completely alone.

I think it started with looking back on the times I had with my children. They are growing up and I sometimes feel left behind. I know that I am loved and appreciated. But I miss them and at times like these I want them to come back and be little again. I want them to need me like they used to.

I took my hurting heart to my heavenly Father, curled up in His lap and spent some time in His embrace. As I poured my heart out to Him, I could almost feel His hand stroke my hair, saying it will be OK, I will hold you till your done. The tenderness of a Father that loves His child seemed to pour over me.

What I knew at that moment is, I am not alone, I am never alone. My Father with His watchful eye never lets me out of His sight. He is always waiting for my hand to grasp His and hold it tight. He never leaves me alone. I only need to turn my eyes towards Him and speak His name and He hears. The moment the words leave my lips in prayer, He has heard me.

So I tell Him of my broken heart and how my feelings are betraying me. I tell Him how I feel so much less than I should be. How I should be stronger and more grateful for the things that I have but I'm not. As I pour out the words, they seem so shallow, so unworthy of speaking them. I have so much to be grateful for and yet I can not find that place today. "I can not find it, please help me find it", I say to Him.

I take it to my Father and lay it at His throne, my burdens, my hurts and I humbly ask for Him to replace them with a grateful and joyful heart. I need a change inside today and I am not able to make it happen.

It is only in the arms of my Father that I once again feel loved and protected. As He says to me, "no hurt of yours is too small or unworthy to give to me. I will take them all. I will replace them with my love; you are mine, my beloved. Nothing I have, will I withhold from you, for I love you. I have paid a great price to have you as my own. I will give you all I have in heaven. Just wait and you will see."

Words only a Father would speak to his child. I thank you Father. Just your words spoken over me begin to change my heart. For I know that I am loved. I am loved so much that my Father sent His son to die in my place. I am loved and when I am reminded of that, how can joy not invade my heart.